Businessman and former Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban took to X, formerly Twitter, on Thursday and shared some deeply personal news. After spewing a series of hot takes, it’s clear that this titan of industry wants the whole world to know he’s a few fries short of a Happy Meal.
With brave openness about his mental impairment, Cuban proudly shared his opinions on DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) as the key to a “well run, successful company.” As commentators pointed out his inability to grasp basic words and concepts, showing just how debilitating his condition really is, he deserves praise for doubling and tripling down on his endearingly bovine positions. Such a magnificent display of self-confidence in the face of gripping adversity is truly unprecedented, but perhaps Dylan Mulvaney comes closest.
Let me help you out and give you my thoughts on DEI
1. Diversity
Good businesses look where others don’t, to find the employees that will put your business in the best possible position to succeed.
You may not agree, but I take it as a given that there are people of various… https://t.co/L00fl6ggUD— Mark Cuban (@mcuban) January 3, 2024
He breaks down his simpleminded affinity for DEI one letter at a time.
He believes “diversity” is when companies “look [to hire] where others don’t.” In this world, “there are people of various races, ethnicities, orientation, etc that are regularly excluded from hiring consideration,” and he finds “more qualified” candidates among this pool thanks to apparent insidious racism within corporate America. (RELATED: Elon Musk Burns Mark Cuban’s Ridiculous DEI Take With One Simple Question)
Bless his heart.
What he’s describing is the exact opposite of diversity hiring. If you want to succeed in business, you choose the most qualified candidate without paying attention to their identity bingo card. Hiring for diversity means paying attention to these check boxes more than merit. If you’re looking for demographics “to reflect the entire country,” as Cuban argues in a rebuttal, then you’re by definition hiring less qualified candidates.
So what the hell country does this guy think he’s living in? Name one company who avoids hiring minorities — I’ll wait. Anti-meritocratic diversity hiring is the best thing a company can do right now; it buys easy credit, government favoritism, and free PR from our hive-minded media class. Clearly, Cuban’s mental state has deteriorated to the point where he now operates in a completely alternate reality.
Running a company, as you know, is hard. In the @ibm video their CEO says he wants the demographics of IBM to reflect the entire country. Could it be that’s what puts his company in the best position to succeed ?Do you have a problem with that ? It’s exactly what I suggested and…
— Mark Cuban (@mcuban) January 4, 2024
He goes on to explain that diversity is good for business because “people tend to connect more easily to people who are like them.” Come on, buddy — I know you mean well, but that’s, er, pretty racist.
Basically, what this amounts to is arguing that whites, blacks, men, women, gays, straight — and everyone in between — are their own separate species. There’s no way a black customer can connect with a white financial adviser, because they come from completely different worlds, their brains just work differently. This sounds like something that would have really caught on if it were in a Democratic Party pamphlet around 1896.
As we are constantly reminded, stupidity is no excuse for racism. Hell, the New York Times fired a legacy reporter after he said the N-word while explaining why you shouldn’t use the N-word! Intent is worth even less than your 401K in Biden’s America. Do better, Cuban — it’s not my job to educate you.
Next, equity.
Our sage guru hits the bong and reveals some deep wisdom: “Treating people equally does not mean treating them the same.” This sounds like a guy trying to explain how even though he banged a dude, he’s not gay.
Let’s work this out in some terms Cuban might still be able to understand: 1 + 1 = 2, or 1 + 1 is the same as 2. I know this is tough, but try to follow along.
Treating people equally does, in fact, mean treating them the same. It means giving everyone the same opportunity to succeed on their merit, skill, and dedication. That’s the only way society can function without everyone eventually going crazy with bitterness and resentment and killing each other. When schmucks like Cuban start to pick winners and losers based on subjective — and typically delusional —metrics, everything falls apart. And this is exactly what “equity” calls for.
Last, we have “inclusion” — where Cuban’s brain finally melts into radioactive sludge.
The best companies are those that “create environments that reduce unnecessary stress of their employees” but not in a way that stops you from “hitting quota or getting the product out the door.” So what does this mean then?
Presumably, it’s what every overvalued company does these days. Leadership leans into some Eastern pseudo-spiritualism and drivel about “holistic wellness” and the mid-lings explode with bloat. Remember what Elon Musk did when he took over Twitter? He fired 80 percent of the staff. That’s because they all hung around in hoodies dripping organic slop all over themselves, meandering at their treadmill desks walking slower than a grandma taking it easy on her mall walk because her shingles are acting up. Worse, it was all on the company’s dime.
Pump man-child employees full of kale smoothies and endless rounds of foosball and then pretend to be surprised when productivity goes down. Maybe Cuban can read his staff a bedtime story after they hit quota.
But as a great man once said, “That’s not all, folks!”
In reality, “inclusion” really just means having cult-like Maoist struggle sections about identity, where white, male, straight employees are shamed and ridiculed by their dialectical foes over their immutable characteristics. Inclusion is really exclusion because all it amounts to is reminding the undesirables that they are scum.
If that doesn’t raise morale, I don’t know what will!
Ultimately, Cuban takes the talking points of the DEI priesthood and recites them verbatim while attempting to pass them off as his own unique insight. It’s as if he filtered his entire thought process through one, lone brain cell. (RELATED: Are The Mavs Plotting A Move To Vegas? Mark Cuban Selling The Team Could Signal The Plan Is Now In Motion: REPORT)
So perhaps it’s for the best that he recently sold off his beloved Dallas Mavericks. He doesn’t seem up to the task. Plus, I’d rather not see a bunch of one-legged transgender, Muslim ladies trying to dunk a basketball.