There once was a time when ex-Prince Harry was known to the women of Britain as the most eligible bachelor. Now, he might be the most annoyingly boring royal on the planet.
Harry was such a naughty little thing back in the day, running around hotel rooms naked, throwing naked pool parties: he was the one young British bachelor that all women wanted to be naked with. Now? Well, he’s woke as sh*t and become one of the lamest humans on the face of the Earth.
In a Monday address to the United Nation, Harry claimed that the Supreme Court rolled back “constitutional rights” for women, even though this isn’t even close to being the truth. However, it doesn’t surprise me that Harry doesn’t understand that the Founding Fathers didn’t include abortion in the Constitution. He’s way too pretty to actually be smart.
What’s blowing my mind after watching his speech is how far Harry has fallen from the former rock star status he held in the minds of the Great British public. How is this the same Prince who dropped $16,000 on a night out in London? (RELATED: Case Of The Mondays? Justin Trudeau’s New Haircut Will Cheer You Up)
A lot of Americans don’t realize what a riot Harry was back in the day. I think most of us from across the pond assumed that he would end up dying prematurely because he downed three consecutive bottles of straight vodka and did one too many lines during a night out or something. The fact he’s come this far and is somehow still alive is pretty impressive, really.
Unlike every other woman I’ve ever met, I don’t blame Meghan Markle for Harry becoming such a loser. I actually credit her with making him what appears to be a pretty good husband and father, even if he is spewing the rhetoric of the woke mob. Part of me just prays he secretly smokes pot or something, anything that harkens back to the edge he once held over his brother, Prince William.
I also have a general rule of thumb that, if there are no reports of domestic abuse, I am an unconditional supporter of love. I don’t know why, but I really do love Harry and Meghan together. I don’t care if you want to crucify me for saying so, I’m Welsh, so I’ll turn your teeth into a necklace in order to defend my love of unconditional love. He really does seem like a good partner, even if it makes him so damn lame.